I apologize for not updating my blog for the past several weeks, but I have had an elderly family member in the hospital and she requires a lot of special care and attention. I hope to get back to this soon, but in the meantime, keep going to the bottom of the page and click on "older posts" to view all the material posted so far.
I really appreciate all who have viewed this blog and who continue to view it; I would also appreciate any comments you may care to make as well. Thanks to everyone.
June 11, 2011:
My mother-in-law took a bad fall recently and has some badly bruised ribs and an abrasion on her forehead from her fall. She was in the hospital for several days as they found she also had a urinary tract infection which is very distressing for elderly people (she is 90). She has progressive senile dementia and while in the hospital, she thought she was in a nursing home. She has always been terrified of being in any type of "home" other than the home she lives in, and she really "freaked out" in the hospital as she could not understand the difference from "home" and "hospital".
My husband and I had to stay with her most of the time to stabilize her (those hospital chairs are not conducive to sleep either!). It has been a "roller coaster" week but she is now home, although she does not recognize her bed, bedroom or our home where she has lived with us for the past seven years.
I don't know how long it will be before she does not recognize either of us but I am sure that is on the horizon. I can foresee a bleak future for her, but hope and pray that the Lord will take her soon before she realizes she in such a bad way, although she already knows her mind is nearly gone.
I also believe that no one can have too many prayers, so if you would pray that her time will come soon and He will take her peacefully in her sleep one night, without her feeling the sting of death, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to everyone!
June 19, 2011:
My mother-in-law was readmitted to the local hospital on Friday 6/17. She had been developing a cough and we were afraid she was getting into pneumonia. We had been in touch with her physician and had her scheduled to be seen Monday. She was on a high-powered antibiotic as well.
However, her cough got so bad Friday late afternoon that we had to call an ambulance to transport her back to the hospital. We thought we were going to loose her. When x-rays and labs were completed, the ER physician said that on her first admission for her fall two weeks ago, the x-ray techs and the ER physician had missed the fact that she had a couple of broken ribs and not just contusions. He did a CAT scan to further define his suspicious. Because of the broken ribs (or a possible slight puncture with this), there was an area next to the lungs that began to collect blood and fluid (perhaps similar to a hematoma I am guessing).
However, as time went on, this collection continued to expand and put pressure on her right lung and this had gotten so large that her right lung was nearly flat. That is why her cough was so progressive. They took her up to ICU and inserted a chest tube to drain the fluid as they did not feel she was a candidate for surgery to do this and clean out of thickened blood and clots that were in this "collection".
And, believe it or not, they removed 1500 ml on the first drainage! That is a right at or possibly a little over a half-gallon of fluid. She appears to be doing better this Sunday as I type this. They will leave the tube in for several more days to make sure all has drained. She will be removed from ICU later this evening or tomorrow. Thanks again for all your prayers. They are greatly appreciated.
June 23, 2011:
A sad news day today . . . my mother-in-law has very progressive Alzheimer's Disease (AD). I have felt this was the case for a long time but it finally was diagnosed as best can be on CAT scan, and as close to a definitive diagnosis other than a brain biopsy at death. She should be discharged from the hospital Friday or Saturday. We hope and pray we are strong enough to endure what will be coming our way in the immediate future.
My Aunt June (information on my blog) had AD and we know generally what to expect with this disease entity, but knowledge does not make this task any easier, especially in the last stages. Edith seems to be in a continual light-level state of confusion at this time, but I know this will get progressively worse. She does not recognize her bed, bedroom or even the house which he has lived in with us for the past seven years and she gets lost when trying to go from one room to the next.
This last fall has really taken a toll on her and exacerbated her AD to almost a full-blown situation now. We again ask for your prayers, not that she is going to get better, but that she will be spared a lengthy time of total dysfunction; pray for us that we will have the patience, endurance, attitude, compassion and humility to serve her well until it is her time. Thanks to all of you.
June 25, 2011:
My mother-in-law came home today . . . to an environment that should be home and a familiar setting to her, but she still does not recognize home, and at this point, I am not sure she will ever be able to do that. I know it will be a challenge for us now to continue to keep her, living with us at our home, but we will do our best until our best is no longer sufficient for her needs. Then at that point, we will have to do some further decision making. Again, thank you, everyone, for your prayers.
July 10, 2011
When I spoke of a challenge on my last update above, I had no idea of the meaning of "challenge" at its ultimate level. To all of the care givers out there, may you all be given an abundance of patience, attitude, endurance, compassion and humility as without these, this job would wear you down in a very short period of time. Until you have been a care giver to one with progressive Alzheimer's (in my case), or any type of end-stage disease or long-term care with a family member, you only think you have an idea of the time involved and compassion needed to carry on from day to day and still keep your "wits about you". It is definitely a lifestyle-altering situation. My prayers go out to all of those with loved ones at home whom you are caring for as I think being a caregiver requires the ultimate sacrifice in so many ways.
I have been a caregiver for 24 years with my Aunt June and now over seven years with my mother-in-law; while life was a challenge with my Aunt in that she had the mind of an 8-year-old, her care was a different challenge, although she too died from Alzheimer's disease along with a plethora of other medical issues as well. And with this experience, you would think I would be used to this by now, but with my mother-in-law, everything is a "severe" question and has to be answered immediately, as her hallucinations are very real to her. When I am trying to work (I work at home), she will call to me from the next room and I have to jump up and down a lot from my desk to answer her call . . . some days I feel like I am on a roller coaster as I am always up and down, up and down. She sees a man in the house and needs to know who it is (no man, this is a figment of her imagination) but it is so real to her and she needs to be reassured. She will see a wild party on TV and call me in to say . . . "Do you allow such parties in your home?" as she thinks this party is actually taking place in the corner of the room where the TV is . . . sometimes it is funny if it weren't so sad. One time she called me into her room at night and evidently thought she was out in a boat fishing as she asked me, "Who is out in the water?" and I told her no one, that she was in bed at home and not out in a lake. Then she asked me where Leon was (my husband) and I said he was sleeping in the other room (this was about 3 a.m.). She then went on to ask me, "Well, who do you sleep with?" I had to suppress a laugh because my first thought about responding was, "I sleep with your son", but in her state of mind, I felt another answer was more appropriate so I just said, "I sleep with my husband" and she said "Oh". You have to laugh to keep from crying. However, I focus on the fact that should I live to become her age of 90, I too would want someone to care for me and it brings me back to reality. . .you just have to look at the "big picture" here.
The grandchildren are coming to have one last visit with their grandmother before she gets to the point where she no longer recognizes them . . . and this is coming quickly. I say that because she introduced her son (my husband) to the nurses as "this is my brother". When she was corrected, she still insisted this was her brother so we just let it go. My son was here this past week and my daughter, who is currently vacationing with her family in Hawaii, will be here on July 18 for a week and a half. She would have been here sooner but they could not change their previous plans.
When we are finished with visits and the prescribed home health care nurses, physical and occupational therapists, and the like, my husband and I will have to sit down and make some hard core decisions about how we are going to continue to handle this situation. We may do this while my daughter is here as three heads may be better than two. We have a lot of safety issues going on as she will crawl out of bed with the sides up (she could easily lose her balance and fall again) and her mind is so bad that she can't remember she has to use her walker plus a lot of other issues that are getting to the point with which we really need help . . . I suppose this is just the "nature of the beast." Again, we covet the prayers of everyone.
Thanks for all of you, my fellow blog followers everywhere . . . USA, Germany, United Kingdom, Philippines, South Africa, India, Russia, Ukraine, South Korea and New Zealand . . . for being patient with my not getting new posts up recently, but I will have some soon. I am so excited that my work is getting to be read so far and wide as I never, in my wildest imagination, realized how many people would be even interested . . . so thanks again to all of you! And now that the world is my critic, please feel free to let me know if you like what you are reading, or if you have a topic you would like for me to write on in my series "A Little Chat with God". Thanks again!
July 17, 2011
My son returned home safely, my husband had knee surgery this week and is doing very well, and my daughter will be here tomorrow. What a busy week. I was concerned that I would be in a real bind with Leon being down and me caring for Edith too, but the good Lord has answered my prayers in this regard. Leon has not had near the pain or recuperative problems I had thought he would have and for that I am so grateful. It was so good to see Mark, my son, for the week before this as well. In fact, father and son got to wet a hook one day; they tried to go fishing a second time but the weather messed them up.
The Friday before Mark returned home, we did a "dry run" with Edith to see if she was able to be up, out and about for several hours, with the idea in mind that we could take her to church again in the near future. The nurse's aid had come and bathed her, dressed her and we decided to go out for supper that evening. She did fine until she finished with her supper and then she told me, "Ruth, I have to go bad, bad!" Well I won't go any further because it would be TMI (too much information) but suffice to say, we had a bad incident. I never in my wildest imagination considered this although I should have. But, as they say, experience is the greatest teacher! I could tell she was quite tired when we returned home, although she appeared to enjoy getting out; however, we will rethink this in the future for sure!
This week, I am so looking forward to my daughter, DeeAnn, arriving tomorrow evening. She will be a big help to me with Edith. Thankfully, she will have a rental car as I do not think Leon can drive the two hours to the airport and then another two hours on the return trip with his knee at this point, and I have only been to this particular airport once last year and would probably get lost in the dark. She is not arriving until after 10 p.m. This way, she will drive home, although it will be probably midnight before she arrives here. It will be a "double-edge sword" week as DeeAnn will be glad to see her grandmother but she will be sad for her as well, knowing her future is going to be continually in a diminishing state of life. DeeAnn is very fond of her grandmother and this will be hard on her as well. It is never easy to "say goodbye" and when you have one with progressive AD, it is definitely "the long goodbye".
Please check back this week or so, as I plan to post several new items in my series "A Little Chat with God". With DeeAnn here this week, I will have time to get some of these included in my blog. I can't say thanks enough to all of you out there for your prayers and the fact that you are viewing my blog. And again, please feel free to comment on any post at any time.
Ruth Miller
