HELLO to everyone!
     I may have retired six or so months ago, but my life has been so busy since then, it is all I can do to keep up.  My 91-1/2 year old mother-in-law (Edith) took another fall in July and has been in the hospital for several weeks only to be discharged to an in-patient rehabilitation center for intensive physical therapy.
     Of course, she fell at a time my husband was out of the state for several days and I had to call the local Fire Department to help, me as I cannot get her up by myself.  It took three strapping fireman about 15 minutes to get her up and when they did, they asked her if she could stand up and she could not, so they carried her to her bedroom and placed her in her chair.
     She is having a lot of difficulty walking and has been told that if she cannot walk, she cannot come home because there is no way either one of us could carry her around our home.  Her arms cannot support pushing herself in a wheelchair and her mentality (she has had Alzheimer's Disease now for about eight years) has deteriorated to the point she cannot understand how to use one of the electric scooters either; she would be running into everything including us!
     It is so sad to see something like this happening to a family member, but we have tried to get her the best possible help for her situation.  She does, however, realize that she cannot come home if she cannot get her strength back in her legs so that she can support herself and and walk unaided with her walker.  And, in fact, she told me several days ago she knew she was not strong enough to walk.
     She does not like the rehabilitation center and wants to get out of there, but we keep telling her that we just can't take her home with us because we have to wait for her doctor to discharge her.  She keeps asking when she can go home and we just tell her that her PT should be completed by September 18 and after that, it is up to her doctors to make a decision as to what will be the best for her.
     She has fallen probably 12 times in the past several years and each time she falls, she is left a little weaker.  And every time, this involves going to the hospital for a checkup, several days or weeks in the hospital and then rehabilitation, either in a center or home health care at home for several months.  I think she has fallen more due to her memory being so bad that she forgets she has to use her walker.
     We are about at the point that our level of care for her is not enough to provide a safe environment; her safety and well-being is now becoming the top issue and we are beginning to feel the prudent decision for her would be to place her in a nice home.  Her memory is about a nanosecond long and she fails to realize just how badly she needs to use her walker, so she just walks without it and a fall ensues.
     We have searched out the homes in the area and do have a nice place holding a room for her in their Alzheimer's Unit just in case she can't walk well enough by the time of her discharge date, which has already been extended once, but we have not said anything about this at this time, hoping she will be able to walk.  This ALF (assisted living facility) is closer to our home and is fairly new ... it is really beautiful and reminds me of an old Southern Plantation ... I do not see any reason for her not to like this ALF.  But ... she definitely is NOT fond of anything with the word "home" attached to it and even if we placed her in the Taj Mahal, she would still complain.  My husband and I said to each other after a full tour of this facility that we would be happy to stay here if the need arose; it is really a beautiful, well-kept place and the personnel there are very well informed in their responsibilities and have a great attitude.
     We just hope that somewhere in Edith's distraught brain which has been plucked probably full of holes by now from her AD, that somewhere in there is a little portion of normal brain that will allow her to understand that we have given her the best years of our lives to see that she is taken care of, and that this is the best solution to keep her safe.
     We are definitely at the crossroads with her care but will continue to see that she is taken care of, even if in an ALF.  It is a very difficult decision to make but we know in our hearts that this is the best for her right now, and this decision is made with a total concern, care and love for her well-being.

Ruth and Leon Miller